New York-based educator and school leader Brooke Peters was already familiar with Positive Intelligence, the coaching framework that forms the basis of the 13-week Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals programme, when she decided to take part. Having heard about the course from our co-founder Aaron, who had been involved as a board member and coached several team members at the school in which she worked, Brooke felt it was an obvious next step in her personal and professional development. 

She explained: “I thought it was a good opportunity to have a group coaching experience and it matched my expectations quite well. I really appreciated the multi-platform approach of the weekly Zoom sessions, the access to the Positive Intelligence mobile app, and the daily check-ins in the WhatsApp group. It felt really connected.”

Because Brooke was completing graduate school, she did eventually find she used the app less in the later stages of her Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals experience, but said it had been instrumental in embedding good habits in terms of her developing Positive Intelligence practice, not least by encouraging her to take regular breaks throughout each day to focus for at least 10 seconds on one of the five senses - an exercise known as a ‘PQ Rep’.

Sticking to my principles 

Developing this discipline is a fundamental part of the Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals programme. Brooke went on: “I found the app really helped me to practice and remind myself. Now I find myself not needing to have those prompted reminders although I still very much use the principles. I just found the whole experience of Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals to be very warm and loving.” 

Brooke was part of a group of six individuals taking part in the three-month course, sessions for which usually take place on a Monday at 6pm UK-time and 1pm New York time. 

She said: “It was a fairly small group, and the one other person based in the US had a similar job to me, and seemed to have a lot of similar struggles, so I felt I had almost found someone that really understood me straight away. 

“I really appreciated how diverse the group was in terms of age and experiences. It was just a wide range of people and I thought that was really helpful, not only to hear from folks around the world but also from people in different professions and going through different things. That different perspective was helpful to hear, and I appreciated how the different topics we covered on the course applied to everyone. 

“For example, we all know we need eight hours’ sleep and that sort of thing, but sometimes we all need reminders to put good habits in place. For me that’s been the key. I realise I probably need support to keep those habits in place. Yes, I have all the information, but the application of Positive Intelligence makes it that bit easier to do. It’s not hard to do - reps can take only a few seconds and there’s something about how small that is that I think helps with building other habits.” 

Brooke’s goal for her time in the programme centred around stress reduction, and although she does still find one-to-one coaching beneficial, she feels more present and in control during moments of challenge since taking part.

You can’t pour from an empty cup 

She explained: “I tend to run out of steam after going hard at a task so I’ve been trying to make that shift around taking care of myself alongside everything else. That was the big thing - giving myself permission to do that, and being in a community of people that are really uplifting that permission that we all need to give ourselves, to take care of ourselves. 

“I can take care of my personal life, my home life, and my contribution to the world only when I take care of myself well - that is a lesson I’ve been re-learning every single day and I’m still learning it, but Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals did really help my perspective and I’m not as mad at myself. I’ve sort of forgiven myself on some things. 

“It was about the holding environment that was created and the focus on the process. There wasn’t a ‘there’ that you had to get to each time we met. There was some new information, some discussion, and some routines that we went through, and even though there was a schedule of different topics, it’s really the ongoing practice for each of us that I think is really important and really different. You know, you can listen to a podcast about sleep but that doesn’t mean you’ll put it into practice.” 

With this in mind, the group membership element of her learning journey was something Brooke found to be particularly valuable. 

She said: “I think we all need peer support. There is something about the Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals group; having that weekly touchpoint where we were focused on ourselves. It’s something I think we all need all the time. 

“I think we all really committed to checking in each day in the WhatsApp group for a while and that really helped. I found there was one person whose job is similar to mine and when they were open and making contributions in the WhatsApp group it encouraged me to join in more. It kind of goes back to that idea that you're not anonymous, like, these people are holding you. There were people sharing some really quite personal things and we didn’t know each other in ‘real life’. 

“I think the most overarching change is my reaction to things. I don’t get the reaction I would have before, even physiologically. My stomach doesn’t get that dropped feeling and my heart doesn’t race as much. This is probably in conjunction with my own therapy but I have better tools for my regulation. I’m more regulated most of the time and, not that I was really flying off the handle before, but I can overly empathise or beat myself up about things, and now I’m able in the moment to just note things and to respond in a way that I wasn’t doing previously. I’m more present with that, which was part of my goal for the course - instead of feeling like I’m running from this to that all the time it was to feel more ‘in-body’.” 

Although based on her experience Brooke feels the course may be of particular benefit to those working in the helping professions, she feels the skills she has developed could be helpful to anyone. 

Give and take

She said; “I do think it’s good for those of us in education or the helping professions, like nurses, counsellors, or social workers. There are so many people for whom there’s just so much that is expected that we give. I think in every job there is a lot you have to give, but I think there are some jobs where the boundaries are very blurred at times. But I think it is something for really anyone. I would recommend Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals to friends even outside a work environment if I felt they were looking for direction in life. I think it can help you as a person and help you figure yourself out. 

“I also think there is a loneliness in adulthood at times and everyone has their different situations that can be lonely. And I know we’re not post-Covid, but the place we are in since Covid started can be lonely, especially for us in New York City where we had a very extended time of lockdown. It has changed so much about our lives. For me entering my 40s with that starting too, and now being in my mid-40s, there’s something about the time in my life that it happened in. I noticed I wasn’t seeing friends as much. There were just a lot of things that fell out of practice. 

“Mid Life Thriving did help me to re-focus on all of that again, like seeing friends more often and doing more things. It’s an indirect connection but there’s something in that sense of belonging. It’s like being part of something.”  

Peas in a pod

Following her time on Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals, which ended in summer 2024, with two of her friends Brooke has now developed a way of holding each other in supportive mutual accountability, and feels that because most people tend to put the needs of others above their own, being part of a group, or programme ‘pod’ is a great tool for developing that same commitment to yourself. 

She said: “I managed to carve out that one hour a week as someone that doesn’t take a lunch break enough and doesn’t slow down enough. That was my carved out ‘me time’ and I think I need that. I’ve made progress by putting downtime on my calendar, and ‘me time’ on my calendar, but I don’t always necessarily take it. And it is worth it. 

“Showing up for the other people in the group, while it might not be the right reason because I need to show up for myself, it has been a good training tool in creating accountability for myself. The Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals group was smaller than I expected, but because of that it’s noticed if you’re not there. I remember I missed a session because I was sick and they reached out to me to ask how I was feeling.

“It was communicated that I was missed and that tapped into something really quite fundamental. It told me ‘you are also part of this process that we’re all doing together’. That speaks so much of what I do for other people and it’s rare for me to get that back.” 

Everyone counts

For Brooke, being in mid life has been a crucial part of her experience. She explained: “The core idea is that we as people are growing and changing. We have more to contribute and different things to contribute over time, so it’s valuable to do this at any time. For me it’s never too late to invest in yourself.