Client Stories - Frank Harrington

Frank Harrington is a university lecturer that trains sign language interpreters and does equality and diversity training. Based in Lancashire, he also spends much of his free time as a musician and composer. 

He explained how he came across Mid Life Thriving:  I was seeing Erica anyway because I was having all sorts of immunosuppressant problems and was trying to sort those out with diet and she mentioned to me that men would be welcome as part of this new Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals programme too, so I took the plunge and dived in with everybody else. 

“I was in the minority of one as a man, but that didn’t matter at all because I was made to feel completely and utterly a part of the group right from the beginning and I couldn’t praise everybody more highly for the way they made me feel welcome.” 

One for all and all for one 

Frank had been concerned people may not feel as open in group discussions as they may in an all-female group, but he was quickly reassured by other group members and the Mid Life Thriving team, who simply said, ‘you’re one of us’.

“That actually really put me at ease because I’ve been in other situations and I feel that sometimes being the man in the room can stifle the conversation; the last thing I wanted to do was to stop anybody else feeling free to talk about anything simply because of my presence.

“The programme initially is based on the philosophy of Shirzad Chamine, the author of Positive Intelligence, and he’s a man dealing with his own problems and trying to find a way to live a happier life. Once we started to get into the exercises and the videos and the conversations and chats around our saboteurs and what was going on for us week by week, it just turned into the most supportive, positive group and I almost forgot I was a man.

“If you’re prepared to feel comfortable enough to step above the macho idea that we’re not supposed to need therapy cause we’re men, and actually just get real and understand that this thing can actually help you to be a better person - it doesn’t matter what your gender is. 

Don’t Worry Be Happy 

“If I could sum up my experience of being part of Mid Life Thriving Fundamentals I would say it is the best thing I ever did. I’ve spent years - decades of my life - stressing over things, worrying about who I am, worrying about the things that make me not able to do more with my life; worrying about all of the things that seem to get in the way of me being able to be who I want to be and developing a little bit more happiness and a little less anxiety. 

“Those sorts of things, whether it be a sense of being a victim or flight rather than fight - they’re such negative aspects of us but they sort of dictate how we do life on a daily basis. You know, I’ve had a go at various other things on my own but Erica said just come and have a look, come and see what you think, and once I got into understanding this idea that there are things that sabotage us and things that give us wisdom, and we can overcome the saboteurs by looking to the Sage Muscle, it’s changed the way I look at life, and it’s changed the way I do quite a lot of stuff on a daily basis. And in all honesty - yeah, it has - it has changed who I am. It has made me a better person.

“I’m still very much in a process; I think I’ll be in a process for quite a long time. There are a lot of things that I still have to overcome and a lot of things I could do to make all of that even better, but I feel like I’ve got a couple of tools now that I didn’t have before. I’ve got the ability to be able to sit down and give myself space and time. I’ve got the ability to stand back and challenge and question why things are happening, and not let the saboteurs in quite so often.”

Cost Benefit Analysis 

“For anyone worried about the cost of this programme, the first thing for me is it’s worth it. The second thing is it’s actually really good value for money. The third thing is that Erica and Sophie are really kind and flexible and you can pay monthly rather than in a lump sum up front. And that means inside a monthly budget rather than an outlay of three months in advance that for me, I was able to do that and still be part of the group and I’m really grateful for that because as I said, it’s made such a change to me and who I am and where I am in my life now.

“It’s not expensive in terms of what you can pay for other types of therapy or support, and it’s a great programme. I think it’s more than worth the beans. 

“I have a greater knowledge, awareness and understanding of myself and who I am than I had. I have a greater knowledge, awareness and understanding of some of my limitations. There’s a lot of distance still for me to travel, but I’ve now got the tools to deal with and to overcome some of the limitations that are still kind of a part of who I am, but they’re much more manageable. They’re not the devils or the demons that they used to be.